


The Medic

by a_grumpy_kitty



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4117540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_grumpy_kitty/pseuds/a_grumpy_kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's fucked up but Brendon will come back. He always does. </p><p> </p><p>Based off the song The Medic by Foxing</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Medic

"Jesus Ryan, where have you been?" Brendon asked as i stumbled into the apartment. "Ive just been out. Im fine. Im okay." I slurred my words heavily.  
"You smell like cigarretes. I can smell the whisky from here. You said you were getting better. You said you were getting help." He said. My heart stung at his words. I did say that. And then i said it again and again over and over. But each time i said it i was lying. He knew i was lying.  
"C'mon Bren. Im sorry bee. I love you. You're the best i can do. Im sorry i'm not what you wanted. I love you brenny bear." I almost laughed at my own words. 'I love you' i thought to myself. In my head i corrected myself. 'I think i love you'. What is love anyway. Who knows. Who the hell cares. Brendon was still by the door. He looked sick but still healthier than i do. I walked to him as steady as i could and held onto his hips. "Ryan..." He began. "If you want me to slow down, just tell me." I said leaning down to kiss his lips. He let me. He always lets me. And we kissed and kissed and then i was kissing down his body and i was on my knees. "Let me make it up to you Brenny bee." He shuttered but he let me continue. He always does. 

______________

 

"You dont love me!" Brendon screamed through the apartment. "God Ryan! You don't love me! You just love sex! I'm going to spend the night at Spencers. Dont come after me." He said grabbing a duffel bag and storming out the door. I sat on the couch shocked at what happened but i cant say i'm suprised. I put out my cigarette and did another line. He'd come back by the morning. He always does.  
_______________

When Brendon came home the next morning, i was still asleep on the couch. Jon was passed out on the floor. He came over after Brendon had called him about the cocaine. He tried to help. He threw out my drugs. He even got me sober for a little but he fell asleep and i had drugs everywhere. "I can't wait around for something better than this. I have to go out and find it. I'm leaving Ryan. And this time i'm not coming back." He said, packing bigger bags. He was gonna come back. He always came back.  
_________________  
Its been 3 months. He didn't come back. He hasn't called. Or texted. Or anything. He probably thinks ive drank myself to death by now. Or overdosed on something. I'm suprised i havn't. I don't even know if he would care if i did either of those. I love him. I always did.


End file.
